OutOfLove

I'm going to deviate just a bit this morning.

Ever awakened angry?

Yup.

That's where I was this A.M. Angry I wasted my time last night playing computer games instead of getting rest. Angry I woke up at 6 something instead of sleeping till 8.

Stressed out because of all of the major decisions looming over our family and the cash it is going to take to "get 'er done". The realization...I still had some soulish areas which were making me shut down and not get around people.

So, I got up, did a bit of exercise...made smoothies...ironed my hubbies shirt...talked this stuff out with him...read in the Word and now I am visiting with you.

So, have you ever had one of those mornings where you wake up with a full emotional load?

God told us many, many years ago that we were to help people in the area of finances and of course, that is where the biggest challenges have come. Right now we are "level" but He has called us to be debt free, not level. That was part and I suppose most of my challenged feelings I was having this morning.

When I went to the Word, Father took me to the book of Hosea again.

"Okay Father...do I really want to read about an adulterous woman?...No"

As I was reading through the first chapter, nothing was grabbing me except verse 7..."Yet I will show love to the house of Judah; and I will save them—not by bow, sword or battle, or by horses and horsemen, but by the LORD their God."

The spotlight was on two thoughts LOVE and BUT BY THE LORD.

My twitterpation this morning was such a worthless endeavor. Zechariah 4:6 expresses the same thought. He wuvs me...yes...He adores me...the hugging, kissing kind of love where He wants every good and perfect gift for me...the overwhelming kind of love where He gives me a special God tweaked gift for me...for you.

Yes...the anger leaves...enlightenment comes...joy returns because He loves me and what He has told us to do won't be done by conventional means. It won't be accomplished by the wisdom of man, but the wisdom of God.

Deep breath in and out...and by the way, He gave me that breath as well and even that is not by power or might but by the Spirit of the Lord.

Rrrrrrrrrrehehehehehehehvvvvvvvvv it up today...His love is pouring over you...listen as He tells you the simple and the hard...gives you ability to fulfill it...works wonders on your behalf...as you give it out to another.

IWishI'dNever

Perhaps you are one of those crystal clear...pure to the core folks who were smart enough to never have a major OOPS in your life. For all of you in that category, hats off to you.

I never fell in that category, so I can say with all honesty I have some extreme "I Wish I'd Never" incidents which colored the way I perceived life. But recently, as I was studying a rather obscure subject...you know...one of those rabbit trails which leads to nothing remotely like what you started with, I found a pleasant truth...an AAAH you might say.

It all started in Joshua 22 where three of the tribes of Israel wanted the land on "this side" of the Jordan. They were instructed by Joshua that in order for them to have that land, they STILL had to help their brothers secure the land on "the other side". Those three tribes were the Reubenites, the Gadities, and the half tribe of Manasseh (one of Joseph's boys).

These three tribes decided to settle for good instead of best. They still had the same work ahead of them...securing the land, but they received less than God's best.

So, as you follow Reuben, the eldest son, you find quite a few OOPS in his life. Perhaps these mess ups created the man who was willing to settle for one step less than God's best.

Here's his profile:

First Born

Lost First Born rights to Joseph because he slept with one of his Father's wives and lost the blessing of his father.

One step less than a great leader

Kept Joseph from being killed, but not from being sold into slavery

Some of his descendants were of those who challenged Moses' and Aaron's authority resulting in the earth swallowing them up

Received an abbreviated blessing from Moses that "he would live and not have too many of his men dessert him"

Pretty exciting isn't it! His pursuit of trying to lead and failing to do so continued as those three tribes who remained one step away from "great" ended up being overtaken by the Assyrians because they walked away from the true God and became idol worshipers.

Reuben's tribe began to diminish, but yet as you begin to read the life of David, you find, the largest tribes represented among David's valiant men were from the three tribes who settled for less. They rallied behind the chosen king whose descendant was the Lion of the tribe of Judah. This time, they didn't settle for what looked good, but toughed it out when David was hiding from Saul who was wanting to eliminate him.

Then in Ezekiel 48 where the city gates are being named after the 12 tribes, you see Reuben's name mentioned with Levi and Judah as the gates on the North. Perhaps some may not see the significance of this grouping, but I realized he was grouped with the tribe from which Jesus grew out of...the tribe of Judah. And Levi? The tribe of the priests whose only inheritance was God himself? Reuben was recognized once again with first born rights. Perhaps they were not first born physical rights, but they were first born spiritual rights.

Okay, I know some could argue with me about this, but there are several lessons to be learned from his life.

ONE: Don't stop one step up from best

TWO: Don't let the mistakes of the past keep you from

going ahead and going for God's best

THREE: Always do "things" God's way

FOUR: There is always forgiveness and restoration

This is only one rabbit trail...more later. Hopping away for now!

HowdyHowdyHowdy

Thursday was officially my last day at work. It has been at least two years since I was home. There is no guarantee that I won't be working a job beginning with the new school year, but for now, I am calling this summer my time of "restoration".

I've been out of the habit of writing, reading, exercising and quiet timing on a consistent basis...so, yesterday was the start of re-disciplining and re-aligning myself physically, socially, and spiritually. I'm aware this summer won't be downtime, but at least it will be more time to do what I need to and want to...

The boys have been soccering and my teen has been attending graduations and such, so I have been here in the quiet of the house all day...wonderful...just wonderful. I slept while the grass was being mowed this morning and sat in bed to read my Bible. I was able to spend time studying on the computer while doing a little bit of wash...re-attuning my ear to the Father again instead of trying to hear him over the roar of activity. It's a good thing God can scream louder than the kids and softer than a whisper. He has certainly been my rock during my Father's surgeries and my brother's surgical ordeals. He has sustained me when I felt so empty I didn't have any of that $3 + gas inside of me.

I am mindful of an old song which says "He hideth my life in the cleft of the rock...and covers me there with his hand". He has been my refuge.

Just last Sunday during praise and worship, I was singing and praising and with my inner eyes saw myself flying high above a canyon like an eagle. The wind was rushing through my hair. It was a sense of exhilaration...freedom as I rose above everything which might possibly be an enemy. Coming back home has been freeing to me, but I know from past experience that in order to stay free, I will have to be doing what I have been called to do. I'll post tomorrow about what God has been showing me on this.

Glad to be back...Smiles, hugs and kisses all around...

Thanks

Thanks you to all of you for your many prayers and encouraging comments.

Dad went in last Thursday for an angiogram and they found 95% blockage. On Friday, he had his carotid cleaned out, and on Saturday he came home. He has an incision about 6 plus inches on the side of his neck. He never took any pain medicine except the medicine they gave him right after surgery. He is doing very well, but has to take it easy on his treadmill and elliptical.

My brother who was in the hospital for 6 weeks went home yesterday and for that we are also thankful. The doctors removed his gall bladder and then found out that the gall bladder was not the issue...it was healthy. They found an opening going into the large intestine had collapsed, so they went in and ballooned it several times. Hopefully that will do the job. They think the collapse was from the pain medication he lives on. Because he has no movement from the waist down, the recovery was a bit longer...having to get his upper body strengthened enough for him to lift himself in and out of his wheelchair...after surgery no doubt. But he is home and home is always a much better place to re-cooperate than a hospital.

I am constantly amazed at you who have come by and left comments. You don't know how much it means to me and to our family.

School is almost done for the year and the summer looks rather aggressive. I will be home again beginning next Friday. Part of my summer I hope will be spent in getting to know all of you again...blogging...writing...loving on my children, and helping our eldest and her husband get packed to move (boo-hoo).

Even though I haven't seen you guys in person, I count you friends.

Much love to all of you...

PleasePray

I would like to ask for your prayers. My brother has been in the hospital 6 weeks now and has had two procedures and one surgery. He has started running a temperature again and is very lethargic. It looks as though another surgery is planned.

My Dad will have a carotid artery cleaned out tomorrow...it was 95% blocked. He is in good humor and ready to get it done.

Thank you for your prayers...Smiles and Hugs to you all...

Don'tForgetTheOil

"From the sole of the foot even to the head,

no spot is uninjured wounds, welts,

and festering sores not cleansed,

bandaged, or soothed with oil"

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There was a story about many young brides who were anxiously awaiting their groom. As was customary, the groom would arrive with the musicians in a procession to get his bride and carry her off to his Father's house where the groom had added on a room for the two of them. There was an element of surprise...at least for the bride, because until their room was built, he could not bring her to be with him.

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Often times, the bride would have one who knew the heart of the groom to keep her informed as to how the new room was progressing. That gave her hope in knowing he would come for her soon. Thus, the bride would keep her "vessel" full of oil so that her lamp could always be lit at a moments notice.

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You remember the story...some did not keep their "vessel" full of oil and when the time came for the groom to call them out...there was nothing...just empty "vessels".

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The quote above is from Isaiah 1.

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The context of this verse...rebellious Israel...but that is not where I want to put my focus.

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The condition of "this person" was horrible. From head to toe there was nothing but wounds and open sores. There was no oil to rub onto the wound to soften the skin and prepare the area for healing. And even if there were bandages to cover the wound, without the oil, there would be no healing.

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This is where I have been without even knowing it. As I sat down this evening to hear the heart of the Father, He pointed out this verse.

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My chiropractor says I'm tough. But a tough heart and a wounded spirit is not something to brag about. Aching and hurting all over...wounded by rejection and others...wounded by my own inwardness...turning my back from the only one who can apply the healing oil...yes that would be me.

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The virgin who did not take the time and the cost to keep her "vessel" full of oil, felt the consequence. The consequence was not having the oil when the one who could successfully apply it was calling out her name...the healer came, but there was no oil. The vessel was empty and the light had gone out. The oil for healing, the oil for anointing and smoothing the scars of hurt and the oil for producing food full of taste to strengthen and nourish...this oil was not there...for the vessel was empty.

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As I pondered this dilemma, I was mindful of the story Jesus told of the hated Samaritan who poured the oil on the battered man, bandaged his wounds and then paid money out of his own pocket to take care of him.

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Jesus, like the Samaritan, came to our aide when no one else (not even a Christian brother or sister) would bother, took the ridicule and hate and still poured the oil of the Spirit of God...the Spirit of Life upon us. He bound up our hurts and paid the price himself.

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It is interesting to me that the woman who was needing to have a debt cancelled in the Old Testament was told to get as many "vessels" as she could borrow and start pouring. All the vessels were filled with oil...She sold the oil, paid off her debt and lived on the surplus.

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It is also interesting to me that I have been getting deep tissue massages here lately because of the accident. My therapist applies oil...Oil to soften and heal...Oil to help her in the process of working out my problem areas.

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So what am I saying? I'm read to have the oil applied to my life. I'm ready to have a "vessel" full of oil...oil to apply for someone else's healing. Oil to anoint with and bless with...anyone who is in need. Oil to create food to strengthen others.

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Open up the spigot and let the oil flow...let healing flow through me to you.

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I know I am not the only one out there. Perhaps my wounds aren't deep...but yours may be.

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May my words flow into the wounded areas of your life to soften and produce health. And what about the rebellious Israelites who refused to be healed? Well, this rebellious one is unfolding her arms and heading for the flow of oil.

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"Okay God...whatever you want me to do. By His stripes, I am healed. I have the oil applied!"

Prayer

Howdy all you sweeties out there in blogland. I just got word, my Dad will be going in next week to have an angiogram and possibly more. I would appreciate your prayers. As most of you know, he is 89 years young and will be 90 this year. He's a great man.

I would like to ask you who read this, to pass it along to as many as you can to visit http://www.89andholding.blogspot.com and post a prayer or whatever to brighten his day. He is not one to get down about anything, and that is only one of the qualities I admire about my Dad.

Thank you for your prayers...the prayer of a righteous man avails much...so does the prayer of a righteous woman!